Learning to talk like Uncle Bumblefuck!
  Word or Phrase Translation
1 200 lb gorilla adj.A human, usually yourself 
2 Alien Abortion adj.A hacked up, bumblefuckery of a job
3 Alluvial Soil nounAeroKroil, a brand of penetrating oil
4 America's Hat nounCanada 
5 American Pesos nounUS Dollars
6 Angle of the Dangle phraseSetting the correct angle for a tool or material 
7 Angry Pixies nounElectricity 
8 Anti theft deterrent adj.Horrible color, nobody will steal
9 anti-litigation guard nounTool safety guard
10 Apprentice Marks nounScratches, rough edges or cosmetic damage 
11 Apprentice went at it with a dull beaver exp.Poorly done, roughly finished
12 Arkansas socket set nounCrescent Wrench
13 Arm and a dick phraseVery expensive
14 Art Bin nounGarbage bin - see Fuck-it Bucket
15 Ass adj.A measure of effort (ie. half-ass, quarter-ass etc) 
16 Astro Glide nounGrease
17 Automagically adj.Getting done by its ownself
18 Baby doll nounWife
19 Barley Soup nounBeer
20 Basal Platten nounBase plate
21 Battaria nounBattery 
22 Beer nounTime measurement unit. "It'll be ready in about a beer, beer and a half" 
23 Better 3/4s nounSee Baby doll
24 Big Rock Candy Mountain nounShenzhen, China
25 Bigger the gob, better the job phraseuse an adequate amount of adhesive  
26 Bitch Mittens nounRubber gloves 
27 Blond One adj.Smallest unit of Cunt Hair 
28 Blow's nounLowe's
29 Borscht nounBosch
30 Bottomside-Topwards adj.Upside down
31 Brain Bug nounMicrochip, Integratet Circuit
32 Brother bear nounson
33 Buna-N nounNitrile rubber
34 Burninator nounSoldering iron 
35 Cambodian Tire nounCanadian Tire
36 Canaderp adj.Canada
37 Canadian Copeck adj.Canadian dollar
38 Canuckistan Kopeck nounCanadian dollar
39 Capzapitar nounCapacitor
40 Car painter nounCarpenter
41 Car Painters nounCarpenters
42 Carbohydrate foam nounWood 
43 Carefuling verbTo act with care
44 Catholic shoes nounKnee pads
45 Charge-Air nounBattery Charger
46 Cheese and rice phraseJesus Christ
47 Chick-a-dee adj.Daughter
48 Chicken stick adj.Non contact volt meter
49 Chineseium adj.Metal or material of poor quality 
50 Chintzy adj.Easily-broken; poor quality 
51 Chooch verbIn an operating state 
52 Chooch Factor nounHow well something works
53 chooched her last phraseCeased functioning due to wear-and-tear or bumblefuckery
54 Choocher nounThing which does the doin
55 Chowdered adj.a roughened surface
56 Chunkage nounSurface imperfections on a machined material
57 Clipboard Warrior nounInspector 
58 Clitterati abbr.Hard-left Feminists
59 Clockwards adj.Clockwise
60 Cock for Dolly nounThe right tool for the job 
61 Cockford-Ollie noun"Cock for Dolly" 
62 Code brown phrasecrap your drawers
63 Concreture nounConcrete contractor
64 Condom Seal nounGasket
65 Confabulate verbTo construct and fabricate simultaneously.
66 Confuddled adj.Confused
67 confuser nounComputer 
68 Confusion 360 nounFusion 360
69 Cork Stuffer nounTool for wife’s nightstand
70 Corntact exp."Contact". Something said before beginning to weld 
71 CrackMaster-carr nounMcMaster-Carr 
72 Crapsman nounCraftsman; A Sears tool brand 
73 craptacular adj.Of very low quality
74 Cromulent adj.Legit, good, functional. See Skookum
75 Cryobi nounRyobi - the tool company
76 Culvert with Wings nounAirplane
77 Cungsten Targlide nounTungsten Carbide 
78 Cunning linguals nounPlace where you feel the most pain
79 Cunt hair nounAmbiguous unit of measurement usually under 1mm
80 Cunt's Fucked phraseOut of order
81 Cuntenental types adj.Europeans
82 Cuntstain Tongueglide phraseTungsten carbide (see also Cungsten Targlide)
83 Cut it twice and it’s still short phraseCarpenter
84 Dead Tree-carcass nounWood in various forms
85 DeFault nounDeWalt 
86 Defuckulate verbTo fix what you have just broken
87 Dewilt nounDewalt
88 Diaper cream nounThermal paste 
89 Dick beater nounHand. "Something you can hold right in the palm of your dirty ol' dick beater" 
90 Dickered adj.A tool or part what's chooched 'er last 
91 Dicklickxia nounDyslexia
92 Dinosaur squeezings nounLiquid product derived from petrochemicals 
93 doll hairs nounDollars 
94 Doobleydoo nounComment Box 
95 Dumb as a fox phraseTo be intelligent but appearing incompetent
96 Dungaree nounDegree (thermal unit of measurement)
97 Durasmell nounDuracell battery 
98 Ear Hole Pluggers nounEar Plugs
99 Elechicken nounElectrician
100 Elechicken's hammer nounPliers  
101 electrocity nounElectricity 
102 Electronicals nounElectronic circuitry and/or controls
103 Embiggen verbTo make bigger or larger
104 Empire of Dirt nounAvE's workshop
105 Enginerded adj.Engineered
106 Enginerding verbEngineering designed down to a price point
107 Especial adj."Special" pronounced in Spanish
108 Everdeady nounEveready battery 
109 Fabricobble verbFabricate, usually in a rough manner 
110 Factory Retention Tool nounVise Grip
111 Fajita nounKnock-off Makita
112 Familial hibernaculum nounFamily home
113 Fap-Off nounSnap-On
114 Farstner nounFastener
115 Fart Smeller phraseSmart Feller (fellow)
116 Fat Coca-Cola Salesman nounSanta Claus
117 Finger verbFigure
118 Fingered adj.Figured 
119 Flea-Bay nounEbay 
120 Fluke nounA company that produces measurement equipment 
121 For Frog snacks phraseFor fucks sake
122 Foreskin nounForesight 
123 Frankenstein nounFahrenheit
124 Freedom Bucks nounUnited States dollars
125 Freedomseeds nounammunition
126 From tip to taint phraseStem to sternum; all the way
127 Frozen Shithole of Hoth verbCanada
128 Frylon nounSmoldering or burnt nylon
129 Fuck'em verbFacom, a French tool brand
130 Fuck-it Bucket nounTrash Can
131 fuckulate verbTo mess with. To pull apart to see how it works.
132 Fudge Factor nounA figure included in a calculation to account for error or unanticipated circumstances 
133 Fukhead screw nounPhillips head screw 
134 Fukhead screwdriver nounPhillips head screwdriver
135 Futons nounPhotons 
136 Gargler nounGoogle
137 Gas Axe adj.Cutting Torch
138 Geomatics nounGeometry
139 Georgia Overdrive phraseNeutral In a vehicle
140 Gettin' Spot nounStore 
141 Golden Reliever nounGolden Retriever
142 Gravity nounWeight or Heft; "She's got some real gravity in 'er"
143 Green death nounElectrical/battery corrosion
144 Grin the shit out of turd sandwiches phraseStay happy in bad situations
145 Guinea pig it out phraseRun an experiment
146 guttentoight phraseGerman for something that is really tight
147 Gypsy information nounGPS coordinates
148 H.P.H.T. nounHot Pink Hockey Tape 
149 Hair Compressor nounAir Compressor
150 Hand break on a canoe adj.Useless
151 Hand work adj.Masturbation
152 Handcuff Burner nounWedding ring
153 Hangulation adj.Angle, usually referring to a bevel or chamfear
154 Have a wee boo under the petticoats phraseTake a quick look inside
155 Hazard Fart adj.Harbor Freight
156 Hazard Fraud adj.Harbor Freight
157 Healing bench nounA workbench for dissecting tools and equipment
158 Hiballs nounEyeballs
159 Hindicator nounIndicator
160 His-scratcy nounHitachi
161 Home-gamer noun"do-it-yourselfer" 
162 Homeless Despot nounHome Depot 
163 Honey Schmoo noun"Honey Goo" brand spray lubricant
164 Hoo-Ha rattler nounVibrator
165 Hoonskint adj.Husky brand of tools
166 Hoop-a-jooped adj.Warped, bent, out of balance
167 Horror Freight nounHarbor Freight
168 hot snot nounHot Glue 
169 Hot Supper adj.Tool abuse
170 Hot-Metal Glue Gun nounWelding Machine 
171 In and out apparatus abbr.Door
172 Inconel nounNickel-chromium-based superalloys
173 Industrial Lego nounOff the shelf parts that have generic applications
174 Infernal Combustion nounInternal Combustion
175 inkanel nounNickel 
176 Inky-bay nounEbay
177 Insulting tape nounInsulation tape
178 Into the abyss adj.Lost somewhere in the shop
179 Jay-Ay-Pan nounJapan 
180 Jeezeless adj.Useless
181 Jeweler's X-Ray nounHammer
182 JFM abbr.Just Fucking Magic 
183 Juicy Wench nounLiquid Wrench, brand of penetrating oil
184 Kanukistan nounCanada
185 Ker-Lick exp.The sound a torque wrench makes
186 Knuckle fucker nounCresent Wrench
187 Lego detector nounFoot
188 Letting the smoke out verbDestroying an electrical component 
189 Man Glitter nounMetal Filings (from dying gears)
190 Mao’s Dollarama nounHarbor Freight (see Hazard Fraught)
191 Mastercrap nounMastercraft 
192 Meat-hook abortion adj.Messy; botched job
193 Micro-Adjustor nounHammer
194 Milfucky nounMilwaukee; a brand of powertools 
195 Millimeter adjuster adj.Hammer
196 Monkey Shit nounMoldable substance for sealing
197 Motorb nounAn electric motor.
198 Mouth Breather adj.idiot
199 Neodiddlium nounNeodynium (Magnet)
200 Never-sneeze nounA type of grease
201 NFG abbr.No F'n Good 
202 Not teabag phraseNot too bad
203 Nut Fucker nounCrescent Wrench 
204 Nut Lathe / Swedish Nut Lathe nounCrescent Wrench
205 O'smelloscope nounOscilloscope 
206 Oarf verbThe less than climatic brother of chooch; the do nothing mode of operation
207 Oilberta nounAlberta 
208 one-smoke noun"one-stroke" engine. (eg. rocket motor)
209 Ones-and-zeroes nounClever pixie wrangling, usually contained within a brain box.
210 Opine exp.opinion 
211 Pana-suck-it nounPanasonic
212 Pecker detector nounMagnifying glass
213 Percussive maintenance verbHit with a hammer
214 Petticoat nounEnclosure
215 PFO abbr.Please fuck off
216 Pissin' with the cock you got phraseUsing what is available 
217 Pissy abbr.Pounds per square inch (PSI) 
218 pixie choreography nounCircuit design
219 Pixie containment device phraseBattery
220 Pixie path coordinator nounAn electric switch
221 Pixie Wrangler nounElectronic Technician
222 plumbear nounPlumber
223 Poor Man's Dremel nounBreak-away craft knife
224 Powder Actuated Tool nounGun
225 Power Fister adj.Power Fist Tools
226 Prefamulated adj.Pre-installed
227 Procrasterbation verbProcrastination  
228 Pug fugly adj.Butt ugly 
229 Rape Wagon nounSnap-on tool dealer's truck
230 Rapid Onset Lead Poisoning phraseDeath by Shooting
231 Rattle your fillings from down stairs phraseTo shake or vibrate vigorously
232 Real tear exp.Blood
233 Rectum fryer nounRectifier 
234 Recycled Toilet Paper nounMedium density fiberboard (MDF) 
235 Release the schmoo phraseTo remove a bolt, housing or other such stopper, and let out liquid or sludge contained within
236 Ridden hard and put away wet phraseHad a lot of use and abuse
237 Rippim abbr.RPM / Revolutions per minute 
238 RTFM abbr.Read the fucking manual 
239 Running a marathon 2 inches at a time phraseMasturbation
240 Rust enthusiast nounWelder
241 S and M abbrShe sleeps and I masturbate
242 Safety squints nounImprovised eye protection 
243 Saskatchewan all-sixteenths nounCrescent Wrench
244 Saskatchewan Chrome nounDuck Tape
245 Saskatchewan Loctite adj.Cross Threaded
246 Saskatchewan Socket Wrench nouncrescent wrench
247 Satisfactin' nounSatisfying 
248 Scamazon nounAmazon
249 Schmoo nounAmbiguous fluid or paste 
250 Science nounCelsius - Unit of temperature measurement
251 Scumito adj.A mosquito.
252 Sexpert nounExpert
253 Shermany nounGermany
254 Shit Stain phraseSmoke or burn mark
255 Shit Stains nounScorch Marks
256 Shit Tickets nounToilet Paper
257 Shitshubishi adj.Mitsubishi
258 Shituation nounSituation
259 Sili-con-carne nounSilicon 
260 Sitting in an office running a marathon on a FitBit phraseMasturbating
261 Skeleton in a biscuit tin phraserattle
262 Skookum adj.Durable; of a high quality or standard 
263 Skookumify verbTo make more skookum
264 Slaughtering Iron nounSoldering Iron
265 Smack and pecker adj.Black and Decker
266 Smoke test nounTurn power on for the first time to see where you fucked up the wire job
267 Snatch 23 adj.Catch 22
268 Snow Mexican nounCanadian
269 Soft as woodpecker lips phraseVery hard
270 Sometimes you're the fuck-ee, sometimes you're the fuck-or phraseSometimes things go well for you, sometimes they don't
271 Son of a diddly phraseSon of a bitch
272 sore dick deal exp.An incredible bargain that can't be beaten
273 Spinamathing noungear
274 spontaneous deconstruction adj.An explosion
275 SRCH abbr.Split Red Cunt Hair. A very small distance.
276 Stealership adj.The place where you take your vehicle to get your money stolen 
277 Sticktion nounFriction. Related to Sticktivity
278 Sticktivity nounPropensity of a substance to stick or adhere to another
279 Stone Flinger nounLawn Mower
280 Strap-On nounSnap-on
281 Summer teeth phrase"some are here, some are there"
282 Sweating like a dyslexic on countdown phraseUnder pressure
283 Swing Press nounHammer
284 Tapometer nounPronounced "Tap·om·e·ter". Hammer, when used to adjust
285 tee-bag phraseToo bad 
286 ten peckered billy goat nounSomething that is very hot
287 testicle adj.testing something
288 Thaitanium adj.Metal or material of poor quality: see "chineseium"
289 The immaculate deception phraseRipped off
290 The Ol' Jazz Hands Routine nounTo search for something on the internet
291 The Schindlers fist nounTax payer
292 The stranger adj.Left arm
293 The wife's paint booth nounMake up application room / bathroom
294 Thumb detector nounHammer
295 Thumb-detecting nut fucker nounAdjustable wrench with hammer 
296 Thunderfucked adj.Destroyed
297 Tingle through your dingle phraseSense of excitement 
298 Tits and Pickles phraseShits and gigges
299 Titterpate verbTo laugh at one's own joke.
300 To kill you shots nounTequila shots 
301 Tongueslip Turdglide nounTungsten Carbide
302 Tonguetangulated adj.Being somewhat misspoken
303 Tor-Q verbTorque 
304 Turd herder nounPlumber
305 two-smoke phraseTwo-stroke, as in an engine
306 Uncle Bumblefuck Your's truly (AvE)
307 Unobtainium adj.A very precious, rare, or expensive material 
308 Usual Scumbags nounBig box tool store (see Gettin' Spot or Hazard Fraught)
309 Vagitarian adj.To prefer the company of women
310 Vegtabate verbTo sit alone, usually accompanied by beer, in contemplation of nothing in particular.
311 Verk nounWork
312 Vijaho nounVideo 
313 Weiner Schleiden nounWD40
314 West European throat disease nounThe Dutch language
315 Willfuckee nounMilwaukee 
316 Wobblepop nounBeer
317 Wooden frying pan adj.Useless
318 X-ray machine adj.Hammer
319 Zip strap nounCable Tie
Words pending review: Jungle rot by JBurdman7, HUTF'aYQSbu('")srtqIX by krVQ, HUTF(,((.(".)' by krVQ, HUTF by krVQ, Finger finder, Jeweler's strong opinion, PCT by Faerytail, Plastique, Field X-ray by Glenn R, Ho-Chi-Minhs (from Aug 23, 2016) by Joseph Stevens, Panic by J young, Three-Way Check Valve by Mikeisgreen, Hard as a coffin nail by f355, Hot as a ten-dollar pistol by f355, All 16ths, aluminimum by human, Gilly soose by Duck David, Farmer's nut rounder by Geedavey, Shmoo by Geedavey, BOLTR by Yoodge, Dihydrogen monoxide by Bill, Hot spanner by JamesB, AvE by Rodger, Scientitian by Claude, Hwat by Claude, Festering Stool by smelr, Bob’s your aunty by Chris , Jazz Hands Routine by John Cockford, House Bound by Criggie, Massa Slappy by Criggie, This old tony by Ray Otoole , Kinetic disassembly by JamesB, Thermally reconfigured by JamesB, "Close your lungs" by Criggie, Eskimo sand by Ray Otoole , Samasuckit by CDMC, Gooogler by Dan S, Jazz Hands by Dan Sheldon, Princess Auto Power Fister by TheMNWolf, Greek one by Yo Mutha’, Smucking Fart by DanO, chinglish, Japanese flag by Ray Otoole , DewCLAW! by Criggie, Dewclaw by Criggie, Tappy tap tap by Xterra, Mass of the ass by Xterra, Dancing Pixies by Xterra, Prince Albert by PULAgroup S.A.

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